stupid kayla

11:21 – Stupid Kayla: hey
11:21 – dysleeper: sup
11:23 – Stupid Kayla: nothin i got a strawberry chocolate phone. joe got it for me
11:23 – dysleeper: sounds tasty
11:23 – dysleeper: where’d he get the money?
11:24 – Stupid Kayla: he has a job
11:27 – dysleeper: does  he make enough to keep you in the style to which you have become accustomed?
11:29 – Stupid Kayla: shut up
11:29 – dysleeper: do you even understand what i just asked you?
14:23 – Stupid Kayla: yes why cant i just want a new phone
14:23 – dysleeper: so i’ll take that as a ‘no’

15:31 – Stupid Kayla: hey
15:31 – Stupid Kayla: sup
15:31 – dysleeper: oh hi
15:31 – dysleeper: how’re you?
15:32 – Stupid Kayla: ok
15:38 – Stupid Kayla: yea me and my dad got in a huge fight
15:38 – dysleeper: uh oh
15:38 – dysleeper: did you eat his liver?
15:39 – Stupid Kayla: yup he said that he didnt love me any more
15:39 – dysleeper: i wouldn’t love you if you ate my liver, either
15:39 – dysleeper: he probably made the right choice
15:39 – Stupid Kayla: no im dead serious this isnt a joking matter
15:39 – Stupid Kayla: he told my mom he wanted to kill me
15:40 – dysleeper: cannibalism is srs bsns
15:40 – dysleeper: was it because you let down the family
15:40 – dysleeper: are you italian? does your dad go by ‘don’ even though his first name is ‘phil’
15:42 – Stupid Kayla: fuck u this is not a joking matter

(4:48:25 PM) Stupid Kayla: haha my boss just called amd said that he wanted to talk to me. and im not going to call him bk
(4:48:58 PM) dysleeper: were you peeing in the beds again
(4:49:49 PM) Stupid Kayla: no its about the sexual herassment
(4:52:38 PM) dysleeper: were you hitting on him
(4:52:43 PM) dysleeper: because that’s really unprofessional
(4:53:48 PM) Stupid Kayla: no its things he said and the gurl that got fired is turning him in
(4:54:57 PM) dysleeper: has he ever harrassed you?
(4:55:20 PM) dysleeper: you should ask him if your milkshake would bring all the boys to the yard
(4:55:21 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea
(4:55:49 PM) Stupid Kayla: very funny
(4:56:05 PM) dysleeper: AND HE’S ALL LIKE: “IT’S BETTER THAN YOURS”

(2:11:59 PM) Stupid Kayla: shed probably be in critical condition for a good week
(2:12:28 PM) dysleeper: i wouldn’t call that a good week
(2:12:34 PM) dysleeper: you’re heartless
(2:13:26 PM) Stupid Kayla: i ment like for a week at the least but probably more
(2:14:14 PM) dysleeper: i knew what you meant
(2:14:17 PM) dysleeper: i was making fun of you
(2:14:20 PM) dysleeper: it is sort of my thing
(2:14:22 PM) dysleeper: i do it a lot
(2:14:25 PM) dysleeper: you may have noticed
(2:15:01 PM) Stupid Kayla: yeah i think i have
(2:17:00 PM) dysleeper: that’s good
(2:17:03 PM) dysleeper: that’s a first step
(2:17:22 PM) Stupid Kayla: g2g. i got to get kayla to the hospital fast!
(2:17:38 PM) dysleeper: of course
(2:17:41 PM) dysleeper: you always do
(2:17:44 PM) dysleeper: because she is broken
(2:17:48 PM) dysleeper: i hope you kept the receipt
(2:17:58 PM) dysleeper: because you could try selling her on ebay
(2:18:06 PM) dysleeper: but I don’t think you’d regain your initial investment

(12:48:40 PM) Stupid Kayla: hey
(12:48:48 PM) Stupid Kayla: sup
(12:49:30 PM) dysleeper: hiya
(12:49:31 PM) dysleeper: how’s things?
(12:50:52 PM) Stupid Kayla: ok i guess. just woke up not to long ago
(1:20:02 PM) dysleeper: how was your late shift?
(1:20:52 PM) Stupid Kayla: it sucked
(1:21:19 PM) Stupid Kayla: it was dead so i got out right at midnite tho
(1:22:01 PM) dysleeper: did your car turn into a pumpkin
(1:22:59 PM) Stupid Kayla: no
(1:23:04 PM) dysleeper: damn
(1:23:10 PM) dysleeper: then the spell is broken
(1:23:12 PM) dysleeper: you can be a real boy
(1:23:31 PM) Stupid Kayla: i am so freakin tired tho
(1:27:31 PM) Stupid Kayla: very funny. i am so glad i finally have a day off today even tho il prob end up having to go in there for sumthin
(1:27:42 PM) dysleeper: no, you don’t
(1:27:44 PM) dysleeper: why would you?
(1:27:47 PM) dysleeper: you just say ‘no’
(1:27:57 PM) dysleeper: you don’t answer your phone
(1:27:58 PM) dysleeper: it’s easy
(1:29:33 PM) Stupid Kayla: if they run out of change i have to
(1:32:04 PM) dysleeper: oh okay
(1:33:14 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea thats the bad part of being the main manager. the good part is i get paid 12 dollars an hour
(1:36:14 PM) dysleeper: that i spretty good
(1:36:18 PM) dysleeper: that’s almost as much as i make
(1:36:40 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat do you make
(1:36:50 PM) dysleeper: about $15, last time i worked it out
(1:37:01 PM) dysleeper: which i haven’t done for a while
(1:37:40 PM) Stupid Kayla: ic. i wish i got paid that much.
(1:37:53 PM) dysleeper: well
(1:37:58 PM) dysleeper: i went to school for 3 years
(1:37:59 PM) dysleeper: so um
(1:38:52 PM) Stupid Kayla: well im going to school right now. i have a semester left and thats all
(1:39:06 PM) dysleeper: yes but i went to a real school for a real subject
(1:41:06 PM) Stupid Kayla: i am too. i think that duke is a real school. but im transfering to bradley this year since im manager and i cant play bball
(1:42:23 PM) dysleeper: i thought you were moving to new mexico
(1:42:25 PM) dysleeper: lies all lies
(1:42:36 PM) dysleeper: make up your mind woman
(1:42:42 PM) dysleeper: which invented story will stick
(1:44:12 PM) Stupid Kayla: we were til i got the manager job. now i make to much money to move and my boss needs me
(1:47:58 PM) dysleeper: so you are putting your career ahead of your health and that of your daughter
(1:48:05 PM) dysleeper: because you couldn’t possibly get a job in NM
(1:48:16 PM) dysleeper: MISS ALL-AMERICAN YOUTH
(1:49:06 PM) Stupid Kayla: shes doing better.
(1:49:32 PM) dysleeper: uh huh
(1:51:42 PM) Stupid Kayla: she is. she has to have surgery next week and it should help
(1:55:38 PM) Stupid Kayla: hey its joe. kaylas actually worse than molly. her heart is rejecting and shes having alot of trouble breathing
(1:56:59 PM) dysleeper: i have heard this refrain before
(1:57:12 PM) dysleeper: i disbelieve it as strongly today as i did when it was fresh
(1:57:53 PM) Stupid Kayla: no. i have her on steriods which are helping
(2:00:11 PM) Stupid Kayla: thats why i was at work with her yesterday cause i didnt want her cleaning beds so i did it for her
(2:02:12 PM) dysleeper: if i didn’t think the pair of you were such idiots
(2:02:17 PM) dysleeper: i would have some respect for that
(2:02:22 PM) dysleeper: as it stands, however
(2:02:38 PM) dysleeper: (this is your cue to go HER HEART HAS STOPPED, by the way)
(2:04:18 PM) Stupid Kayla: her heart hasnt stopped for awhile
(2:04:48 PM) dysleeper: that’s special
(2:04:53 PM) dysleeper: you should get it bronzed
(2:07:15 PM) Stupid Kayla: she needs another surgery but she wont get it
(2:07:28 PM) dysleeper: why’s that?
(2:07:35 PM) dysleeper: is there a minimum iq requirement?

(10:34:51 PM) Stupid Kayla: im not having another baby now
(10:35:10 PM) dysleeper: we can be thankful for small mercies
(10:35:48 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat. im a good mom
(10:36:13 PM) dysleeper: perhaps
(10:36:20 PM) dysleeper: but your body is bad at basically everything
(10:51:29 PM) Stupid Kayla: how is my body bad at everything
(10:51:45 PM) dysleeper: breathing
(10:51:47 PM) dysleeper: heart beat
(10:51:51 PM) dysleeper: repairing itself
(10:52:03 PM) dysleeper: and you seem to be passing those traits along to your young
(10:52:49 PM) Stupid Kayla: its better now not totally

(8:53:02 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat the hell are you talkin about
(8:53:16 PM) dysleeper: i don’t even know
(8:53:24 PM) dysleeper: i think you took an hour and a half to respond
(8:53:33 PM) dysleeper: and I had long since closed the chat window
(8:53:58 PM) Stupid Kayla: im sorry im at work. i get kinda busy runtime
(8:54:23 PM) Stupid Kayla: something
(8:54:42 PM) Stupid Kayla: sometimes
(8:54:56 PM) dysleeper: do you even have a tangential or nodding acquaintance with the english language?
(9:01:01 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat r you talkin about. now im really confused
(9:01:19 PM) dysleeper: that much is abundantly clear
(9:09:43 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat are you talkin about
(9:09:52 PM) Stupid Kayla: you are weird
(10:18:33 PM) Stupid Kayla: i am so freakin bored work sucks ass and im here til midnite
(10:18:56 PM) dysleeper: why on earth is your cancer factory open until midnight on a sunday?
(10:19:07 PM) dysleeper: who needs to be irradiated at that time of day, that urgently
(10:20:48 PM) Stupid Kayla: i dont know thats jus how late we are open and i have no say in it
(10:21:14 PM) dysleeper: you should go on strike
(10:21:19 PM) dysleeper: organise a union
(10:22:17 PM) Stupid Kayla: i cant he just fired the main manager so now the main manager is me
(10:22:34 PM) dysleeper: a dark day for your workplace, to be sure
(10:22:49 PM) Stupid Kayla: and then we have three other girls and thats it and they are teenagers
(10:23:09 PM) Stupid Kayla: no im a good manager
(10:23:10 PM) dysleeper: clearly they are not prepared for the same level of responsibility as someone with a baby
(10:24:39 PM) Stupid Kayla: hey i am a good mommy
(10:24:47 PM) dysleeper: and a superb manager
(10:24:51 PM) dysleeper: superb
(10:25:47 PM) Stupid Kayla: i am too. how would you know
(10:25:53 PM) dysleeper: you told me so
(10:25:58 PM) dysleeper: and i believe everything you say
(10:26:02 PM) dysleeper: i take it fully at face value
(10:26:04 PM) dysleeper: in fact
(10:26:06 PM) dysleeper: in many ways
(10:26:11 PM) dysleeper: i pattern my life on yours
(10:26:26 PM) dysleeper: i have been having repeated unprotected sex with every mexican med student i can find
(10:26:29 PM) dysleeper: but no pregnancy yet
(10:26:34 PM) dysleeper: i will persevere

(7:22:34 PM) Stupid Kayla: hey
(7:22:43 PM) Stupid Kayla: sup
(7:22:48 PM) dysleeper: oh hi
(7:22:49 PM) dysleeper: not much
(7:22:51 PM) dysleeper: eating corn nuts
(7:22:54 PM) dysleeper: and reading internets
(7:23:08 PM) Stupid Kayla: sup
(7:24:23 PM) Stupid Kayla: that sounds like a blast
(7:24:33 PM) dysleeper: oh it is
(7:24:49 PM) Stupid Kayla: not
(7:24:59 PM) dysleeper: your wit wounds me
(7:25:36 PM) Stupid Kayla: i have to in to walmart
(7:26:12 PM) dysleeper: why, is your white-trash-ometer a bit low? need to perk up your levels a little?
(7:27:21 PM) Stupid Kayla: i have to in get things and dont you dare call me white trash
(7:29:31 PM) Stupid Kayla: cuz that is so not true cuz in not even white for one thing
(7:29:39 PM) dysleeper: hah what
(7:29:46 PM) dysleeper: just because you’re boning a hispanic
(7:29:54 PM) dysleeper: does not make you an honorary mexican
(7:30:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: whatever dont even go there
(7:37:54 PM) dysleeper: i don’t have to
(7:37:59 PM) dysleeper: you’ve been there often enough for us all

(11:51:46 AM) Stupid Kayla: i hate wen slow cars get n front of me
(11:51:58 AM) dysleeper: are you texting me while driving again?
(11:52:39 AM) Stupid Kayla: yea i do it all the time
(11:53:11 AM) dysleeper: i greet your statement with astonishment and a sense of awe
(11:53:17 AM) dysleeper: i find it remarkable that you are still alive
(11:53:28 AM) dysleeper: given all the out and out dumb things you do
(11:53:32 AM) dysleeper: on a basically day-to-day basis
(11:53:48 AM) Stupid Kayla: im at a stop light
(11:53:59 AM) dysleeper: do you also do your make up while in the car?
(11:54:26 AM) Stupid Kayla: i kno alot of ppl that do
(11:55:23 AM) Stupid Kayla: no i dnt do my make up. that would b 2 hard
(11:55:46 AM) dysleeper: that just says to me that your immediate circle of peers has the collective iq of my left elbow
(11:55:49 AM) dysleeper: possibly less
(11:56:15 AM) Stupid Kayla: shut up

(11:41:55 AM) Stupid Kayla: did i tell u that they had to put molly on an insulin pump
(11:45:54 AM) dysleeper: so her heart doesn’t work
(11:45:59 AM) dysleeper: and she’s diabetic, too?
(11:45:59 AM) dysleeper: wow
(11:46:12 AM) dysleeper: you should probably do your kids a favour
(11:46:15 AM) dysleeper: and not have any more
(11:46:19 AM) dysleeper: you basically fail at procreation
(11:47:34 AM) Stupid Kayla: the test are coming bk negative but her blood sugar keeps shooting up
(11:47:47 AM) dysleeper: what are you feeding her?
(11:47:50 AM) dysleeper: funnel cakes?