stupid kayla

Stupid Kayla: hey question
dysleeper: fire at will
Stupid Kayla: no this is serious
dysleeper: lay on, macduff
Stupid Kayla: no please be serious with me
dysleeper: WHY SO SERIOUS
dysleeper: okay what
dysleeper: serious but not urgent, apparently
dysleeper: slowy
Stupid Kayla: ok i have an irresponsable husband
dysleeper: and a grade 3 literacy level
dysleeper: did he get pregnant again? do you know who the father is?
Stupid Kayla: i on my old shitty ass phone
dysleeper: okay stop explaining why you’re a poor communicator and tell me what the problem is
Stupid Kayla: ok he has his huge petty officer test tomorrow
Stupid Kayla: i tell him to set his alarm and he doesnt should i set it for him or let him learn the hard way
Stupid Kayla: i am so sick of being a mommy to him and i am about ready to go insane cuz of it

(11:09:43 PM) Stupid Kayla: hey havent talked to you forever
(11:09:49 PM) dysleeper: oh hhi
(11:09:51 PM) dysleeper: how’s things?
(11:10:24 PM) Stupid Kayla5: good
(11:39:05 PM) Stupid Kayla: i want to kill my hubby right now tho
(11:39:16 PM) dysleeper: hang him from the yard arm
(11:39:19 PM) dysleeper: or keelhaul him
(11:40:18 PM) Stupid Kayla5: id get in trouble he just thinks he can have the whole couch
(11:40:25 PM) dysleeper: pee on your end
(11:40:28 PM) dysleeper: to mark your territory
(11:41:37 PM) Stupid Kayla: thats gross no its the way he is laying
(11:42:06 PM) dysleeper: he’d stop pretty quick if you just followed my advice
(11:42:11 PM) dysleeper: alternate option: sit on his head
(11:43:33 PM) Stupid Kayla: you don’t know my husband he is violient when he is asleep
(11:44:07 PM) dysleeper: could you sit someplace else?
(11:45:37 PM) Stupid Kayla: no we only have the couch
(11:45:53 PM) dysleeper: there is a floor
(11:46:19 PM) dysleeper: well, i assume there to be a floor
(11:46:33 PM) dysleeper: i am guessing that your couch doesn’t just lfoat
(11:46:34 PM) dysleeper: *float
(11:46:49 PM) Stupid Kayla: i can’t sleep on the floor
(11:46:57 PM) dysleeper: do you not have a bed?
(11:47:28 PM) Stupid Kayla: plus i would never be able to get up off of it and there is to much cat hair
(11:47:41 PM) Stupid Kayla: yeah but its upstairs
(11:48:01 PM) dysleeper: well, i am nearly out of battery so i guess good luck?

(11:27:04 AM) stupid kayla: hey
(11:27:50 AM) adam: oh hi
(11:27:52 AM) adam: how’s it going?
(11:27:57 AM) stupid kayla: ok
(11:28:04 AM) stupid kayla: getting ready to go home for the weekend
(11:28:20 AM) adam: that will be fun i bet
(11:28:49 AM) stupid kayla: yup
(11:28:55 AM) stupid kayla: not many ppl have seen zoe
(11:29:21 AM) adam: have your parents even come down to see her?
(11:29:27 AM) stupid kayla: yeah
(11:29:54 AM) stupid kayla: his dad hasnt seen her yet
(11:30:04 AM) stupid kayla: and my grandma and his grandma and aunts and uncles
(11:30:20 AM) adam: his dad couldn’t make time to come down and see his grandkid
(11:30:21 AM) adam: wow
(11:30:22 AM) adam: just
(11:30:22 AM) adam: wow
(11:30:43 AM) stupid kayla: what
(11:30:52 AM) stupid kayla: we are in va and everyone else is in il
(11:30:58 AM) adam: it’s uhh
(11:31:00 AM) adam: a grandkid
(11:31:03 AM) adam: wouldn’t you take the time
(11:31:06 AM) adam: make the trip
(11:31:15 AM) adam: even your inlaws are like you
(11:31:15 AM) stupid kayla: this is the first time we are able to
(11:31:17 AM) adam: even them
(11:31:20 AM) adam: no no
(11:31:21 AM) stupid kayla: what
(11:31:21 AM) adam: i mean
(11:31:24 AM) stupid kayla: his mom has seen her
(11:31:24 AM) adam: if it was your grandkd
(11:31:27 AM) adam: *grandkid
(11:31:43 AM) stupid kayla: they dont have the money to just drop everything they are doing
(11:31:57 AM) stupid kayla: his dad had a heart attack in december and he works 3 jobs
(11:32:08 AM) adam: that’s pretty poor planning

(11:32:23 AM) stupid kayla: why do u always have to be so mean
(11:32:30 AM) stupid kayla: what cant u just have a normal conversation
(11:44:07 AM) adam: because i am the meanest
(11:44:36 AM) adam: there is a whole webpage devoted to it
(11:44:37 AM) adam: http://meandaysleeper.blogspot.com/
(11:44:43 AM) adam: right there in black & white
(11:44:49 AM) adam: and gray and orange
(11:44:56 AM) adam: and some blue

stupid kayla: hey
adam: hello
stupid kayla: whats up
adam: not much at all
adam: how about you?
stupid kayla: really nervous
adam: why’s that?
adam: seeing sounds? hearing colours?
stupid kayla: no
stupid kayla: this is zachs 2nd day late for work
stupid kayla: and i am afaid he is going to go on restriction
adam: he will get fired
adam: out of a deck gun!
stupid kayla: he cant get fired
stupid kayla: but they can put him on restriction
stupid kayla: which would be 45 days on the ship with half pay and he would loose his rank and everything
adam: that would suck
adam: does he get demoted to seaman
(more…)

stupid kayla: hey
adam: oh hi
adam: how’re you?
stupid kayla: ok i guess
adam: body parts all functioning as intended
stupid kayla: sure i have an orthopedic appointment on thurs
adam: what’s wrong with your feet?
stupid kayla: my knee
adam: knee != feet
adam: but what’s wrong with your knee
stupid kayla: it will dislocate all the time so i have to have it fixed one last time cuz i guess they actually figured out why
adam: get a gps put on it
adam: then
adam: no more dislocating
adam: you will know where it is all the time
stupid kayla: well its bc my tiba is out of alignment
adam: we can rebuild her
adam: we have the technology
adam: i am going to replace your knee with a door hinge

stupid kayla: shes coming home today
adam: oh good!
adam: eating on her own
adam: ?
adam: it is amazing to me that you managed to produce offspring that was unable to suck
stupid kayla: yeah
(more…)

stupid kayla: hey you
dysleeper: oh good morning
dysleeper: how are things
stupid kayla: ok
stupid kayla: had the baby
dysleeper: well done you
dysleeper: was it a human baby?
stupid kayla: yes
dysleeper: even better
(more…)

stupid kayla: hey
dysleeper: oh good day
stupid kayla: not really
dysleeper: one of these days you will learn that when i say ‘good morning’ or ‘good day’ it is a meaningless conversation set piece much like ‘how are you’ or ‘did that skin condition clear up okay’
stupid kayla: i jus found out zah is going to be gone on my due date
stupid kayla: zach*
dysleeper: where’s he going?
stupid kayla: fallen nevada
dysleeper: attn: kayla he is in the navy
dysleeper: nevada has no oceans (more…)

dysleeper: good morning dopey
stupid kayla: be nice
dysleeper: but being rotten is so much more fun
stupid kayla: whatever
stupid kayla: not when kayla is already homesich
dysleeper: so much
stupid kayla: meanie
dysleeper: homesick for when your parents were paying for your lifestyle?