(8:49:27 AM) Stupid Kayla: i have to go take a shower pretty soon
(8:49:34 AM) Stupid Kayla: bc i want to go tanning b4 work
(8:50:34 AM) DySleeper: why not shower after you tan
(8:50:40 AM) DySleeper: don’t you have showers at work?
(8:50:47 AM) Stupid Kayla: no y would we
(8:50:50 AM) DySleeper: i don’t know
(8:51:01 AM) DySleeper: if i was lying in a tanning bed that other greasy humanoids had used
(8:51:04 AM) Stupid Kayla: and then i have to straighten my hair and do my make up
(8:51:04 AM) DySleeper: i would want cleansing
(8:51:19 AM) Stupid Kayla: we clean them really good
(8:51:19 AM) DySleeper: but then again
(8:51:25 AM) DySleeper: i am not interested in skin cancer
(8:51:36 AM) Stupid Kayla: u dont get skin cancer
(8:51:40 AM) DySleeper: you’re right, I don’t
(8:51:43 AM) DySleeper: because I don’t tan
(8:51:45 AM) Stupid Kayla: i dont either
(8:51:47 AM) DySleeper: yet
(8:51:52 AM) Stupid Kayla: wat r u like pa;e right
(8:51:59 AM) DySleeper: sorry what
(8:52:10 AM) Stupid Kayla: r u pale white then
(8:52:17 AM) DySleeper: that’s racist!
(8:52:38 AM) DySleeper: it is illegal and immoral for you to discriminate against me
(8:52:42 AM) Stupid Kayla: no bc i protect my skin i use the moisturizer like ur suppost to wen u get out of the tanning bed
(8:53:01 AM) DySleeper: you do know that moisturizer won’t protect you against cancer, right?
(8:53:02 AM) Stupid Kayla: no its not!
(8:53:10 AM) DySleeper: moisturizer is to keep your skin moist
(8:53:13 AM) Stupid Kayla: yea it has special stuff in them
(8:53:13 AM) DySleeper: it’s right in the name
(8:53:22 AM) Stupid Kayla: and i also take these pills for it too
(8:53:29 AM) DySleeper: you know what would be easier?
(8:53:46 AM) DySleeper: not intentionally exposing yourself to harmful radiation
(8:54:00 AM) Stupid Kayla: no bcx i cant stand being white
(8:54:07 AM) DySleeper: self-loathing is sad
(8:54:19 AM) DySleeper: and what does bcx mean, anyway?
(8:54:26 AM) Stupid Kayla: bc*
(8:54:36 AM) DySleeper: before Christ?
(8:54:53 AM) DySleeper: that is more typically shortened to B.C. and is apparently out of favour now
(8:55:16 AM) DySleeper: many people would have it shortened to B.C.E. (before common era)
(8:55:20 AM) DySleeper: your thoughts?
(8:55:22 AM) Stupid Kayla: because dumbass
(8:55:32 AM) DySleeper: no, that would be b.d.
(8:55:38 AM) Stupid Kayla: ok
(8:55:40 AM) Stupid Kayla: jus
(8:55:42 AM) Stupid Kayla: because
(8:55:47 AM) DySleeper: ah, i see
(8:55:56 AM) DySleeper: it’s all clear now
(8:55:59 AM) DySleeper: what were we talking about?
(8:56:09 AM) Stupid Kayla: shut up u always make me feel so stupid
(8:56:16 AM) DySleeper: THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT
(8:56:24 AM) Stupid Kayla: ur not funny
Archive for March, 2007
Kayla on: Tanning (Again)
Friday, March 30th, 2007Kayla on: Sunburns
Thursday, March 29th, 2007(4:36:07 PM) Stupid Kayla: this guy at work was crazy today
(4:36:56 PM) DySleeper: what was he doing?
(4:37:01 PM) DySleeper: peeing in the tanning beds
(4:37:15 PM) Stupid Kayla: he wanted to go in a super hot bed and use the hottest tingle we have
(4:37:16 PM) DySleeper: and then insisting that you leave it because it was ‘gold’
(4:37:40 PM) DySleeper: it’s amazing the new definitions of crazy
(4:37:45 PM) DySleeper: so what’d you do?
(4:37:49 PM) DySleeper: give him a stick of butter?
(4:38:03 PM) DySleeper: SOMETHING SMELLS LIKE HOTDOGS
(4:38:25 PM) Stupid Kayla: no like a tingle lotion makes u feel like u have a really bad sunburn for a couple hours (even tho i cant feel it)
(4:38:31 PM) Stupid Kayla: and he went in a real hot bed
(4:38:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: boy was he red wen he got out
(4:39:00 PM) DySleeper: so he actually had a sunburn
(4:39:04 PM) DySleeper: is what you’re saying
(4:39:08 PM) DySleeper: or a bed burn i suppose
(4:39:16 PM) DySleeper: that actually sounds really gross
(4:39:19 PM) DySleeper: getting bed burn
(4:39:23 PM) DySleeper: sounds like hella rough sex
Kayla on: Homework
Monday, March 26th, 2007(2:47:01 PM) Stupid Kayla: homework how fun
(2:47:06 PM) Stupid Kayla: not!
(2:47:18 PM) DySleeper: oh man
(2:47:26 PM) DySleeper: you totally turned that around
(2:47:33 PM) DySleeper: i did not expect you to say ‘not’
(2:47:41 PM) DySleeper: i thought you were really excited about homework!
(2:47:42 PM) Stupid Kayla: haha very funny
(2:47:46 PM) DySleeper: ha ha ha
(2:47:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea right
(2:47:56 PM) DySleeper: you totally put that down, flipped it and reversed it
(2:48:10 PM) Stupid Kayla: uh huh
(2:48:29 PM) Stupid Kayla: i hardly ever go to school anymore i jus do it on my own and then go in and test
(2:48:50 PM) DySleeper: good thinking
(2:49:08 PM) Stupid Kayla: yup
(2:49:16 PM) Stupid Kayla: im done with cosmetology
(2:49:57 PM) DySleeper: done as in graduated or done as in given up and switched to something with career prospects?
(2:50:10 PM) Stupid Kayla: graduated
(2:50:28 PM) DySleeper: oh dear
(2:51:04 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat?
Kayla on: Discipline
Monday, March 26th, 2007(2:02:41 PM) Stupid Kayla: i bitch slapped my bro bc he pissed me off
(2:02:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: lol
(2:03:12 PM) DySleeper: you are going to be a model parent
Kayla on: Siblings
Monday, March 26th, 2007(1:52:20 PM) Stupid Kayla: grr she jus woke up bc my stupid lil bro came in the house screaming at his friend
(1:57:28 PM) DySleeper: you should look into getting a place
(1:57:34 PM) DySleeper: or maybe killing your brother
(1:57:38 PM) DySleeper: what’s he doing home anyway?
(1:59:24 PM) DySleeper: it’s like 2:00
(1:59:30 PM) DySleeper: shouldn’t he be at school
(1:59:35 PM) DySleeper: so he can learn
(2:01:14 PM) DySleeper: the unstated subtext of that comment being: “so he doesn’t turn out like you”
(2:01:18 PM) DySleeper: oh but now i’ve stated it
(2:01:21 PM) Stupid Kayla: i say killing my bro
(2:01:22 PM) DySleeper: wups
Kayla on: Disappointment
Monday, March 26th, 2007(1:12:54 PM) Stupid Kayla: yay shes finally sleeping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(1:13:05 PM) DySleeper: good deal
(1:13:10 PM) DySleeper: DON’T YELL
(1:13:13 PM) DySleeper: THERE SHOULD BE NO YELLING
(1:13:15 PM) DySleeper: NO LOUD NOISES
(1:13:27 PM) Stupid Kayla: we dont yell unless it gets crazy around here
(1:13:40 PM) DySleeper: i hope it remains sufficiently sane for her sake, then
(1:13:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: lol
(1:14:06 PM) Stupid Kayla: like sumtiem me and joe will chase each other around the house jus being stupid
(1:14:14 PM) DySleeper: yeah you probably should lay off that
(1:14:17 PM) DySleeper: what with being parents and all
(1:14:23 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea prolly
(1:14:36 PM) Stupid Kayla: last summer we got in a shaving cream fight around the house
(1:14:40 PM) Stupid Kayla: it was pretty fun
(1:15:52 PM) DySleeper: did you have to clean it up
(1:15:54 PM) DySleeper: or did somebody else
(1:16:10 PM) Stupid Kayla: no we ended up cleaning it up
(1:16:21 PM) DySleeper: that’s for the best
(1:16:24 PM) Stupid Kayla: it was all hardwood floors where it was at so it wasnt that hard
(1:16:26 PM) DySleeper: i would hate to be your parents
(1:16:32 PM) DySleeper: just on general principles, really
(1:16:37 PM) DySleeper: i would feel like i had let down the team
(1:16:45 PM) Stupid Kayla: ll yea i would 2 personally
(1:16:59 PM) DySleeper: i hope molly is less of a disappointment
(1:17:16 PM) Stupid Kayla: lol
(1:17:19 PM) Stupid Kayla: hopefully
(1:17:26 PM) DySleeper: wouldn’t be hard
Kayla on: Temperatures
Monday, March 26th, 2007(1:06:13 PM) Stupid Kayla: its cold now
(1:06:22 PM) Stupid Kayla: i jus had to go put a hoodie on
(1:06:36 PM) DySleeper: it’s warm here
(1:06:38 PM) DySleeper: 12 degrees
(1:06:44 PM) Stupid Kayla: r u serious
(1:06:50 PM) DySleeper: yeah it’s toasty
(1:06:50 PM) Stupid Kayla: its liek 75 here
(1:06:53 PM) DySleeper: good grief
(1:06:55 PM) DySleeper: how do you live
(1:06:56 PM) Stupid Kayla: but inside its colder
(1:07:09 PM) Stupid Kayla: its like 65 in here 4 sum reason
(1:07:21 PM) DySleeper: that’s still hella warm
(1:07:29 PM) DySleeper: i got sent home from work when it hit 50 once
(1:07:32 PM) DySleeper: that was pretty damn hot
(1:07:33 PM) Stupid Kayla: and i have a huge bag of ice on my knee which makes me colder
(1:07:34 PM) DySleeper: how do you stand it
(1:07:59 PM) Stupid Kayla: 50 is hot?
(1:08:22 PM) Stupid Kayla: wait til we move down to new mexico this summer its guna be like 115 most days
(1:08:23 PM) DySleeper: yeah, hella hot
(1:08:24 PM) Stupid Kayla: sum 130
(1:08:27 PM) DySleeper: good grief
(1:08:36 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea i really dont want to but joe does
(1:08:36 PM) DySleeper: you know that water boils at 100, right?
(1:08:51 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea its really hot
(1:08:57 PM) DySleeper: seriously
(1:09:05 PM) DySleeper: how are you going to live?
(1:09:15 PM) Stupid Kayla: but we’re going to live up in the mountains where in the summer it only gets up to about 90
(1:09:16 PM) DySleeper: are you going to build a special high-pressure chamber
(1:09:19 PM) DySleeper: oh well
(1:09:20 PM) Stupid Kayla: maybe sumtimes 80
(1:09:21 PM) DySleeper: that’s not so bad
(1:09:30 PM) DySleeper: because you’re not actively boiling at that point
(1:09:32 PM) DySleeper: more sort of simmering
Kayla on: The Studio Audience
Thursday, March 15th, 2007(5:19:48 PM) Stupid Kayla: ur not very nice
(5:20:14 PM) DySleeper: never claimed to be
(5:20:21 PM) DySleeper: it doesn’t keep me up nights, though
(5:20:38 PM) Stupid Kayla: lol
(5:20:44 PM) Stupid Kayla: thats ok i hate jaime anyways
(5:20:53 PM) DySleeper: once again
(5:20:58 PM) DySleeper: i have given you the tools to solve the problem
(5:21:03 PM) DySleeper: you must reach out and grab them
(5:21:12 PM) Stupid Kayla: i dont even talk to jaime
(5:22:22 PM) DySleeper: even better
(5:22:29 PM) DySleeper: he doesn’t need his lungs to converse!
(5:24:29 PM) Stupid Kayla: lol
(5:28:05 PM) Stupid Kayla: im guna try and c if theyll let me take molly home
(5:30:04 PM) DySleeper: i thought you were going to name her korrie
(5:30:22 PM) Stupid Kayla: u yelled at me and told me not to so i didnt
(5:30:34 PM) DySleeper: right
(5:30:41 PM) DySleeper: but i also told you to call her hispaniola
(5:30:51 PM) DySleeper: you take my advice in such a haphazard manner
(5:30:58 PM) Stupid Kayla: no ur mean
(5:31:40 PM) Stupid Kayla: they better let me take her home
(5:31:46 PM) DySleeper: or what
(5:32:00 PM) Stupid Kayla: iduno
(5:32:07 PM) DySleeper: you need a better gameplan than that
(5:32:10 PM) DySleeper: take a gun
(5:32:23 PM) DySleeper: also: molly is a much better name than korrie
(5:32:24 PM) DySleeper: good going
(5:32:39 PM) Stupid Kayla: 
(5:32:50 PM) Stupid Kayla: i use to have a kitten named molly
(5:32:51 PM) Stupid Kayla: lol
(5:32:52 PM) DySleeper: okay look i gotta go
(5:33:00 PM) Stupid Kayla: ok
(5:33:01 PM) DySleeper: oh make sure you don’t feed cat food to the baby
(5:33:05 PM) DySleeper: in a moment of weakness
(5:33:07 PM) Stupid Kayla: shut up
(5:33:11 PM) Stupid Kayla: im not that blonde
(5:33:12 PM) DySleeper: babies hate catfood
(5:33:18 PM) Stupid Kayla: ur mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(5:33:21 PM) DySleeper: BEAR THAT ALWAYS IN MIND
(5:33:23 PM) Stupid Kayla: u always make fun of me
(5:33:29 PM) DySleeper: yes, i do, don’t i
(5:33:35 PM) DySleeper: you’d almost think that i enjoyed it
(5:33:35 PM) Stupid Kayla: so stop it
(5:33:38 PM) DySleeper: mmmm
(5:33:42 PM) Stupid Kayla: u do im not stupid
(5:33:43 PM) DySleeper: but what will your fans think
(5:33:53 PM) DySleeper: the thousands watching at home
(5:33:59 PM) Stupid Kayla: jus go
(5:34:00 PM) DySleeper: wave to the audience, kayla
(5:34:09 PM) DySleeper: we have broken the fourth wall
(5:34:11 PM) DySleeper: see you!
Kayla on: Solutions
Thursday, March 15th, 2007(5:09:50 PM) DySleeper: so what are the symptoms of pulmonary hypertension?
(5:09:58 PM) DySleeper: frequent and erratic moodswings?
(5:10:06 PM) Stupid Kayla: ur mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(5:10:34 PM) Stupid Kayla: like the heart stopping and my chest always hurting, and the fluid in my lungs and not always been able to breathe
(5:10:50 PM) Stupid Kayla: like ive been in the hospital 3nights in a row now
(5:10:51 PM) DySleeper: what can they do for that
(5:11:00 PM) DySleeper: is it at least the same hospital as the baby
(5:11:06 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea
(5:11:43 PM) Stupid Kayla: theres really nuttin they can do for it except heart/lung transplant
(5:13:03 PM) DySleeper: they can’t like
(5:13:06 PM) DySleeper: vacuum you out
(5:13:29 PM) Stupid Kayla: ur not funny
(5:13:43 PM) DySleeper: Not trying to be
(5:13:51 PM) DySleeper: i thought there were ways of removing lung fluid
(5:14:14 PM) Stupid Kayla: they stick a needle in my back inad like do it that way
(5:17:14 PM) Stupid Kayla: it sucks
(5:17:42 PM) DySleeper: one day i will invent a lung vacuum
(5:17:45 PM) DySleeper: and you can have the first one
(5:18:01 PM) Stupid Kayla: thats ok
(5:18:07 PM) Stupid Kayla: i dnt need it
(5:18:14 PM) DySleeper: hmm
(5:18:17 PM) DySleeper: if you play your cards right
(5:18:19 PM) Stupid Kayla: il prolly be dead in 5 years anyways
(5:18:23 PM) DySleeper: maybe you can get jamie’s heart and lungs
(5:18:30 PM) DySleeper: and then you have solved two problems!
Kayla on: Gender Confusion
Thursday, March 15th, 2007(5:03:20 PM) Stupid Kayla: I WANT TO GO SEE MY BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(5:03:54 PM) DySleeper: well
(5:03:55 PM) DySleeper: do it
(5:03:56 PM) DySleeper: you’ve got legs
(5:03:57 PM) DySleeper: kinda
(5:04:12 PM) Stupid Kayla: i have to wait til joes done takin a shower
(5:04:21 PM) DySleeper: go in and flush the toilet
(5:04:26 PM) DySleeper: that’ll make him stop in a hurry
(5:05:17 PM) Stupid Kayla: no hes a gurl wen it comes to takin showers
(5:05:43 PM) DySleeper: so wait your baby daddy is a woman
(5:05:45 PM) DySleeper: you’re a lesbian
(5:05:51 PM) DySleeper: DAMMIT KAYLA NOTHING YOU SAY MAKES SENS
(5:05:54 PM) DySleeper: *sense, even
(5:06:10 PM) Stupid Kayla: ur not funny
(5:06:16 PM) Stupid Kayla: i mean he jus takes long showeres
(5:06:21 PM) DySleeper: ah
(5:06:28 PM) DySleeper: you could shorten them somewhat
(5:06:33 PM) DySleeper: i’ve given you the tools
(5:06:37 PM) DySleeper: all you need to do is follow through
(5:06:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: shush