(3:54:18 PM) Stupid Kayla: im seriously bout ready to rip these IVs out and go home
(3:55:34 PM) Stupid Kayla: >:o
(3:55:55 PM) DySleeper: here’s what you do
(3:56:05 PM) DySleeper: braid them together into a rope
(3:56:09 PM) DySleeper: and escape out the window
(3:56:19 PM) Stupid Kayla: y dont i jus rip them out
(3:56:23 PM) Stupid Kayla: better idea
(3:56:30 PM) DySleeper: or or
(3:56:36 PM) DySleeper: tie them around your neck
(3:56:39 PM) DySleeper: and jump off something
(3:56:45 PM) DySleeper: cos if you want to die that’d be a faster way to do it
(4:00:36 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat
(4:00:42 PM) DySleeper: never mind
(4:00:47 PM) Stupid Kayla: i just wana go home bc this is stupid
(4:00:49 PM) DySleeper: superfluous sort of a thing to say
(4:00:53 PM) DySleeper: maybe it is smart
(4:00:57 PM) DySleeper: maybe the stupid one is you
(4:01:01 PM) DySleeper: it is all relative
(4:01:04 PM) Stupid Kayla: no
(4:01:08 PM) DySleeper: did you ever take any advanced level physics
(4:01:21 PM) DySleeper: apparently there are no absolutes
(4:01:39 PM) DySleeper: but by making that statement
(4:01:43 PM) DySleeper: they negate it
(4:01:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: no i always to bio
(4:02:03 PM) DySleeper: If I say that there are no absolutes, that is, itself, an absolute
(4:02:34 PM) DySleeper: Like if you were to say that everybody named Kayla was a liar
(4:02:41 PM) DySleeper: self-negating
(4:03:20 PM) DySleeper: what was your favourite part of bio
(4:03:23 PM) DySleeper: was it dissecting stuff
(4:03:26 PM) DySleeper: i bet it was
(4:03:30 PM) Stupid Kayla: sleeping
(4:03:36 PM) DySleeper: So you loved bio
(4:03:40 PM) DySleeper: because you could sleep in it
(4:03:45 PM) DySleeper: you should major in ‘bed’
(4:03:49 PM) DySleeper: and minor in ’sleeping bag’
(4:03:55 PM) Stupid Kayla: wat
(4:04:14 PM) DySleeper: I am trying to give you options for a career you can truly enjoy
(4:05:05 PM) DySleeper: beds are useful for other things, too
(4:05:08 PM) DySleeper: such as
(4:05:10 PM) DySleeper: making
(4:05:13 PM) DySleeper: changing sheets
(4:05:17 PM) Stupid Kayla: cosmetology
(4:05:22 PM) DySleeper: yes
(4:05:30 PM) DySleeper: beds are very useful for cosmetology
(4:05:33 PM) DySleeper: in bizarro world
(4:06:10 PM) Stupid Kayla: its not like im guna be alive for it anyways
(4:06:19 PM) DySleeper: that’s the spirit
(4:06:27 PM) DySleeper: does your hospital bed have a motor
(4:07:29 PM) DySleeper: you should get your dad to really rev it up
(4:07:31 PM) DySleeper: give it a turbo
(4:07:40 PM) Stupid Kayla: ugh shut up
(4:07:45 PM) DySleeper: so you can outrun all the doctors
(4:07:55 PM) DySleeper: WE’RE JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU KAYLAAAAAAaaaaaaaa
(4:08:07 PM) DySleeper: as you leave them behind in choking clouds of exhaust
(4:08:20 PM) Stupid Kayla: ugh
(4:08:23 PM) DySleeper: yeah
(4:08:30 PM) DySleeper: it’s very inconsiderate of you to pollute like that
(4:08:37 PM) DySleeper: maybe your dad should make it into a hybrid
(4:08:41 PM) DySleeper: or run it from fuel cells
(4:08:52 PM) Stupid Kayla: shut up
(4:08:59 PM) Stupid Kayla: i wana freakin go home
(4:09:14 PM) DySleeper: that’s the beauty of your motorbed
(4:09:19 PM) DySleeper: no one can stop you
(4:09:31 PM) Stupid Kayla: hey its Jaime
(4:09:42 PM) DySleeper: jaime you need to get her a motorised bed
(4:09:48 PM) DySleeper: it’s the only thing that will make her truly happy
(4:10:04 PM) Stupid Kayla: no she needs to let them do the fuckin surgery.
(4:10:19 PM) DySleeper: is it a brain replacement
(4:10:41 PM) DySleeper: it could be some cutting edge research
(4:11:09 PM) Stupid Kayla: no it’s for her heart
(4:11:34 PM) DySleeper: WE’VE TAKEN THE BRAIN OUT OF THIS OTHERWISE NORMAL 21 YEAR OLD GIRL AND REPLACED IT WITH A PIG’S HEART VALVE. LET’S SEE IF HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY NOTICE
(4:12:04 PM) Stupid Kayla: your’e not even funny
(4:12:20 PM) DySleeper: So you’re saying you would or would not notice
(4:12:47 PM) Stupid Kayla: she has good reasons to be extremely scared of doctors
(4:13:34 PM) DySleeper: medicophobia
(4:13:43 PM) DySleeper: wait a minute
(4:13:47 PM) DySleeper: you’re in medical school, yes?
(4:13:54 PM) Stupid Kayla: im done
(4:13:59 PM) Stupid Kayla: im a doctor now
(4:14:00 PM) DySleeper: so you’re a doctor
(4:14:05 PM) DySleeper: so she’s scared of you
(4:14:08 PM) DySleeper: qed
(4:14:19 PM) Stupid Kayla: no she’s not scared of me put other doctors
(4:14:37 PM) DySleeper: is she scared of veterinarians
(4:15:15 PM) Stupid Kayla: i dont know
(4:15:19 PM) DySleeper: what about nutritionists
(4:15:29 PM) DySleeper: how about Ph.Ds?
(4:15:40 PM) DySleeper: these are important questions
(4:15:46 PM) Stupid Kayla: no like a year or two ago when she was in the hospital they totally messed her heart and lungs up
(4:15:54 PM) Stupid Kayla: thats what started everything
(4:15:57 PM) DySleeper: vee need to vind zee heart of zee problem
(4:16:02 PM) DySleeper: uh
(4:16:20 PM) DySleeper: i’m pretty sure what started everything was the part where she went and played basketball on a fucked-up knee
(4:16:31 PM) DySleeper: everything just sort of lead from there
(4:16:44 PM) Stupid Kayla: yeah and she got the infection in her knee and then that’s when everything happened
(4:16:49 PM) DySleeper: if her life were a story that would be the complicating incident
(4:16:58 PM) DySleeper: right now I believe we are in the rising action
(4:17:31 PM) DySleeper: I wonder what her antagonist is
(4:17:43 PM) DySleeper: I think this is a classic tale of ‘man vs. self’
(4:17:55 PM) Stupid Kayla: you’re not funny.
(4:18:01 PM) Stupid Kayla: my gf and my baby is dying
(4:18:08 PM) DySleeper: are dying
(4:18:18 PM) DySleeper: way to go, doc
(4:18:26 PM) Stupid Kayla: yes i know but i’m freakin out right now
(4:18:26 PM) DySleeper: YOUR FAULT
(4:18:28 PM) DySleeper: ALL YOUR FAULT
(4:18:40 PM) ***DySleeper HEAPS BLAME, SCORN AND DERISION ON YOU
(4:20:19 PM) Stupid Kayla: NO SHE NEEDS TO GET THE SURGERY NOW!!!!!!!!
(4:20:33 PM) DySleeper: YOU’D BETTER GO FIND A BUTTER KNIFE, THEN, DOCTOR
(4:21:05 PM) Stupid Kayla: YOU”RE NOT FUNNY
(4:21:15 PM) Stupid Kayla: I’M NOT THE ONE DOING THE SURGERY
(4:21:41 PM) DySleeper: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL