(4:25:17 PM) Stupid Kayla: my baby and my gf is dying
(4:29:06 PM) Stupid Kayla: hey
(4:29:09 PM) Stupid Kayla: sup\
(4:29:27 PM) DySleeper: oh not much
(4:29:30 PM) DySleeper: apparently you is dying
(4:29:34 PM) DySleeper: lawdy lawd
(4:29:57 PM) Stupid Kayla: ur weird
(4:30:11 PM) DySleeper: but i am alive
(4:30:16 PM) DySleeper: and you are apparently not so much
(4:30:29 PM) DySleeper: I think every time your heart stops it must be like a complete system reboot
(4:30:40 PM) DySleeper: because you never seem to have any recollection of things that went before
(4:31:15 PM) DySleeper: kayla do you like music
(4:32:21 PM) Stupid Kayla: her heart just stopped.
(4:32:54 PM) DySleeper: quick put yesterday’s paper on the doorstep and paint the interior of the garage white
(4:33:20 PM) DySleeper: i’m starting to think that there is some kind of causal relationship between me saying ‘kayla’s heart is stopping’ and the event actually coming to pass
(4:33:32 PM) DySleeper: I wonder if I have this power over other bodily functions
(4:33:57 PM) DySleeper: KAYLA’S EARS START TO FLAP
(4:34:04 PM) Stupid Kayla: this ain’t a thing to joke about.
(4:34:26 PM) DySleeper: sure it is
(4:34:39 PM) DySleeper: KAYLA’S ARM STARTS PUNCHING JAIME IN THE FACE FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THAT I SAID SO
(4:34:57 PM) Stupid Kayla: im really thinking about giving her my heart and lungs
(4:35:07 PM) DySleeper: are you the same blood type
(4:35:11 PM) DySleeper: i know you’re the same iq
(4:35:26 PM) DySleeper: also what purpose would that serve
(4:35:28 PM) DySleeper: she would still die
(4:35:33 PM) DySleeper: and you would also be dead
(4:35:48 PM) Stupid Kayla: who said she would die?
(4:36:00 PM) DySleeper: protip: they don’t let you donate organs other than a kidney unless you have already died
(4:36:11 PM) DySleeper: what kind of doctor are you anyway
(4:36:14 PM) DySleeper: a chiropractor?
(4:36:31 PM) DySleeper: because you seem to have the same basic grasp of medicine as a chiropractor or a naturopath
(4:36:37 PM) Stupid Kayla: yea i have a friend that will do it.
(4:36:57 PM) DySleeper: This is off-the-scales retarded
(4:37:05 PM) DySleeper: LAY OFF THE SMACK, JAIME
(4:37:09 PM) DySleeper: IT’S MAKING YOU THINK THOUGHTS
(4:37:26 PM) Stupid Kayla: i’d rather die than have her die
(4:37:32 PM) Stupid Kayla: and my baby
(4:37:51 PM) DySleeper: hello do you know the statistics for heart transplant patients
(4:38:00 PM) DySleeper: also they would not perform the surgery on a pregnant woman
(4:38:09 PM) DySleeper: the drugs would almost certainly kill the foetus
(4:38:27 PM) DySleeper: also any doctor who would do that, friend or not, would never pass the ethics exam
(4:38:27 PM) Stupid Kayla: they have no other choice
(4:38:40 PM) DySleeper: unless, once again, it’s a chiropractor or a naturopath
(4:39:02 PM) Stupid Kayla: no he just knows how much i care about her and i don’t want her to die
(4:39:04 PM) DySleeper: because I’m pretty sure they don’t have any ethics
(4:39:09 PM) DySleeper: so he’ll murder you
(4:39:14 PM) DySleeper: that’s a good friend right there
(4:39:41 PM) Stupid Kayla: i want my gf and my baby to live
(4:39:53 PM) DySleeper: that is noble
(4:39:55 PM) DySleeper: also retarded
(4:40:24 PM) Stupid Kayla: wouldn’t you want your gf and baby to live?
(4:40:42 PM) DySleeper: yes i would
(4:40:51 PM) DySleeper: but what you are proposing is madness
(4:40:56 PM) DySleeper: and no reputable doctor would do it
(4:41:13 PM) DySleeper: also if your friend is as fresh out of med school as your stupid ass
(4:41:14 PM) DySleeper: he’d fuck it up
(4:41:17 PM) DySleeper: and you’d both die
(4:41:42 PM) DySleeper: AND THEN WOULDN’T YOU BE EMBARRASSED?!
(4:41:56 PM) Stupid Kayla: he’s done a heart transplant before
(4:42:01 PM) Stupid Kayla: i did it with him.
(4:43:33 PM) DySleeper: right
(4:43:35 PM) DySleeper: in med school
(4:44:19 PM) DySleeper: what school did you go to?
(4:44:39 PM) Stupid Kayla: like a month ago
(4:45:48 PM) Stupid Kayla: duke
(4:47:17 PM) DySleeper: duke community college
(4:49:15 PM) Stupid Kayla: duke university
(4:49:28 PM) DySleeper: Duke University online
(4:49:32 PM) DySleeper: GET YOUR DEGREE IN
(4:49:35 PM) DySleeper: FLOWER ARRANGING
(4:49:39 PM) Stupid Kayla: no
(4:49:49 PM) DySleeper: you didn’t get into the flower arranging program?
(4:49:54 PM) DySleeper: i know it’s very competitive
(4:50:29 PM) Stupid Kayla: no i went to med school there
(4:50:49 PM) DySleeper: no, you didn’t
(4:52:10 PM) Stupid Kayla: ok i’m going to go have my friend do the surgery talk to kayla because she’ll kill me if she finds out.
(4:52:37 PM) DySleeper: if she kills you then I don’t think there will be any ethical question about using your organs
(4:52:40 PM) DySleeper: can I have your eyes